At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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