So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
