I seem to have left my pride at pride
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Randomize