i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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