I wish life had little blips of pornography
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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