Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I cannot find my penis.

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(810): View more from Michigan

Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police

(616): View more from Michigan

What?!?

(810): View more from Michigan

What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police

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(706): View more from Georgia

im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick

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(208): View more from Idaho

We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(716): View more from New York

People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz

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(919): View more from North Carolina

It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!

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(207): View more from Maine

I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.

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(805): View more from California

I need a pedicure

(1-805): View more from California

You need to go to planned parenthood

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