I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
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i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
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Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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