we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
bring money and cleavage
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
