i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
