I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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