People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
