I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
