I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
