Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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