I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
