i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
