i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
