We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
