booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
