Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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