dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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