I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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