we have pet lesbian snakes
Duck Duck Cougar?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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