my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
My cat gives me a boner
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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