im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
