he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
