I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I wish i was in the wii world.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
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Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
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The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...