I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right