It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
