i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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