yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
