I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
