You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
