I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
