She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
