I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
