that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
