It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I don't deserve a penis
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night