how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
So many bounce houses so little time
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Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
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Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style