I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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