they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
