There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
