I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
