so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
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I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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