Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
