the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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