You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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