dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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