i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I need to stop coming to work sober
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Actions speak louder than pants.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
