worst night to have a conscience
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
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