Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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