I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
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He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
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They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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