you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
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I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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