i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize