You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
