If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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