Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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