i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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