I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
