Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Brb crying the tears of my youth
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize