drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
And then my night got REAL pukey
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
