Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
You did what with his pubic hair?
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