Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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